Saying Goodbye

Its official... today marks the first time I've cried on our expat adventure! 

I put a few pictures on Instagram of my kids saying goodbye to their friends with the hashtag #GoodbyesAreHard and was relieved to find a bunch of other photos of people saying goodbye. It was sort of like that first scene in Love Actually with everyone at the airport, "If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around." The funny thing about goodbyes is that its the love that makes us so sad. 

Watching H say goodbye to the friends he has known his entire three year old life is hard. I heard him repeat the phrases we had taught him "we'll make new friends," "we can talk on the iPad" and "I'm a little sad and a little excited." The tears flowed the whole way on our drive home from our "very fun last day in Colorado," the title I've been giving H since we started the countdown to departure. 

Our "Very Fun Last Day in Colorado" consisted of attending Music Lingua, a french music class,  (one of my kids most favorite things) at the library, riding the monkey train at the mall, having lunch at Chick-Fil-A and finally making "goodbye bears" at Build-A-Bear. We had all his little friends "sign" a piece of paper which we added to the bear before it was closed. The boys each chose an outfit for his bear. Ok, ok one of H's best friends help choose everything for little O, but you get the point.  Little O fell asleep in the car holding his bear and H has taken his too his room for nap stating bravely "I'm not sad but my goodbye bear is." All the fun was a nice distraction from leaving, perhaps mostly for me. 

Mom friends are hard to find and I was lucky to have found such a close group here. In the digital age I know I will still "talk" to these ladies via text and e-mails. I'm good at keeping in contact and maintain many friends (all of you reading this probably) from our many walks of life. I'm however morning the loss of  physical friends. You know, friends that know your current coffee order, invite you over on the third rainy day because they know you just can't stay inside anymore at your own house and treat your children like they are their own. The ladies I'm leaving, like the many I've left before, have changed my life. It takes time to build this type of friendship. Someone once told me that I would be lucky to pick up one good friend at each new location. If that is true then I should have bought a lottery ticket! 

Some of the sadness is knowing the friendship void is coming.  I'm not even sure to what extent. Each time we move it takes a while to build up new friendships. It takes energy to put myself out there and invest in new people. I have no idea what building friendships in a different country will be like. I do know that it will be hard, but it will get done. I thrive on being part of a group so it is something I just have to "put my big girl pants on" and do when we arrive. Until then though the texts, e-mails and facetime chats will have to suffice. 

Leaving Colorado Springs is just the first stop in our summer of goodbyes We will say goodbye to our families, friends, favorite places, country and culture. I know that life here will move on for everyone else too while we are off on our own adventure.

I'm incredibly excited about everything our summer, and beyond, have to offer. I've also read enough other expat blogs to know that these losses are real and need to be mourned, so that we can move on and appreciate the gift we have been given. 

The sadness stems from the incredible home that Colorado Springs became in just three short years. It was all perfectly summed up when, as I was giving final hugs to some of our closest friends, the clouds parted and we were treated to an amazing view of Pikes Peak, and moments later barraged by thunder and rain.

As military spouses say,  "There are no goodbyes, only see 'ya laters." 

What to expect when your ex-patting!

The countdown is on! We are starting to get things moving for our big move.  Really I'm planning more for our US "farewell" tour, which you can read about here. The planning is a nice distraction from the reality that we are moving abroad. With the house on the market and the husband house hunting in the Netherlands this week it is time to start thinking about this move "for serious."

Step one is research.

I found this lovely info graphic about dutch stereotypes here. I'm not going to lie, when my husband said we were moving to the Netherlands this basically sums up what I knew about the country.

I've been creating Pinterest boards for months. I've divided hundreds of pins into the crystal clear categories of Ex-Pat, QMII and Travel. I've read none of them... yet. I love to travel but other then a two hour stop over in the Amsterdam airport I've never been to the Netherlands. So my first impression is going to be entirely based on what I read online; its a foolproof plan.

Meanwhile if your here looking for real advice on moving abroad, I'm not quite there yet. Hopefully, these idealized views will be provide a good framework for my exploration of Dutch ex-pat life and a few laughs along the way.

In all seriousness, I have found a wonderful blog The Three Under. Farrah has been a lifeline for me. Her early blog posts seem to focus on exactly what I need to know at this stage of the planning process. I've messaged her a few times on Facebook with my ridiculous questions about what to buy the kids before we leave, how to find a house when things come on and off the market in just a few weeks and what to purge before we leave. Its just nice to have someone who has already been through all this stuff and a bunch of things you cannot even imagine. (Go check out her blog and read it all for yourself.)

With our house sold, I've started searching for a place for us to live in the Netherlands. While the husband was house hunting he got a lay of the land and was in touch with a few Mekellar's. It seems clear that we will not be able to find a house before we get there as things are rented almost as soon as they are posted. I am learning allot about the houses though just from looking online. Ive come to the conclusion that much of our furniture will not physically fit into a house. The only thing I know for sure is it is going to be an adventure! I have found Funda to be the most helpful house hunting site although searching "Mekellar" and our town has yielded many good results.

The other, sometimes humorous, site I have found for this move is Stuff Dutch People Like.

My DVR recently recorded the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on their rip to Amsterdam, under a catch all Netherlands recording. I watched both episodes so I'm good to go! Ha! I did learn about the pancake houses and a pancake cruise.

My husband brought back some dutch music for the kids. It has been constantly playing in the car, with the hope of at least acclimating my ear to some of the pronunciation. Our local library had the first set of Rosetta Stone, so we have worked through those although honestly the Duolingo app has been much more helpful. I find myself playing it whenever I have a few minutes. It also reminds me every day to play. I anticipate that by the time we get there I will be able to read basic Dutch, speak very little Dutch and not write in Dutch at all. (I literally miss every question where I am asked to write in Dutch on all programs, so I'm setting my expectations low.)

So... with 30 days till we leave our house for our "goodbye tour" and 90 days (ish) till our overseas move this is where we are. Slowly preparing but managing to keep the anxiety low!